So true.

I got this as a forward and immediately started chuckling! If Utah were to have a TRUE census this would be it for sure!! Okay some are a little extreme... but still a good laugh!

Utah Census Form

1. (Given name)_____________________

2. (SURNAME)_____________________

3. Descendant of:
A. Brigham Young _____
B. Heber C. Kimball _____
C. Laman and Lemuel _____
D. Cain _____

4. Tribe of Israel : _____________________

5. Number of occupants residing in home in each category:
(Listed in chronological order)
A. Nursery _____
B. Junior Primary _____
C. Senior Primary _____
D. Young Women's _____
E. Young Men's _____
F. Relief Society _____
G. Elder _____
H. High Priest _____

6. Occupation [Please select all that apply.]:
A. Amway dealer _____
B. Shaklee dealer _____
C. Noni juice dealer _____
D. NuSkin dealer _____
E. Melaleuca dealer _____

7. Automobile:
A. Station Wagon _____
B. Van _____
C. Suburban _____
D. School Bus _____
E. BMW (Big Mormon Wagon) ________

8. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday:
A. Chuck-A-Rama _____
B. Hometown Buffet _____
C. Sumo Sam's All You Can Eat Feeding Trough _____

9. Favorite Hero:
A. Nephi _____
B. Abinadi _____
C. Samuel the Lamanite_____
D. Steve Young _____
E. Johnny Lingo _____

10. Which of the following do you bring to church [check all that apply.]:
A. Scriptures _____
B. Franklin Planner/ Daytimer _____
C. Pen/Pencil _____
D. Lifesavers/ Cheerios _____
E. Tic Tacs _____
F. Game Boy _____
G. Big Gulp _____
H. Cooler _____
I. Sony Walkman _____
J. TV Watch _____
K. All of the above _____

11. Do you prepare your church lessons:
A. A month in advance _____
B. A week in advance _____
C. While in the bathtub _____
D. While on the toilet _____
E. During Sacrament Meeting _____
F. Just wing it [according to the promptings of the Spirit]

12. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with Big Gulp holders?: yes___ no ___

13. How many years has your family sat in the same place for Sacrament Meeting:
A. 10-20 years _____
B. 20-30 years _____
C. Over 3 generations _____

14. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a high council talk:
A. 1 minute _____
B. 1 second _____
C. 1/10th of a second _____

15. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching:
A. 31st ______B. 30th ______C. 28th ______D. 29th ______

16. How many church basketball fights were you in last year:
A. 1-10 _____
B. 10-20 _____
C. 20-30 _____
D. You'll have to ask my lawyer _____

17. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening:
A. Arguing about getting along
B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner
C. Gathering around the television to watch, "Dancing with the Stars?"

18. How many times a year do you make:
A. Green Jell-O salad _____
B. Funeral potatoes _____
C. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad _____
D. Turkey , cashews and grape-stuffed croissants_____

19. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own:
A. 1-2 thousand _____
B. 2-3 thousand _____
C. 3-4 thousand _____
D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____

20. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in the nation:
A. Alcatraz
B. Fort Knox
C. Ward Libraries

21. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to insure you'll win the pinewood derby: _________

22. Keeping the Word of Wisdom in mind, how much of the following do you consume:
A. Chocolate: ___ pounds daily X 365 days annually= ____
B. Cola: ____gallons daily X 365 days annually = ____